Hello again!
On my recent road trip, I made my way out to Los Angeles for my first time ever and decided to take a tour of the Church of Scientology of the City of Angels. Most of us by now have seen spunky, sassy pants Leah Remini blow the lid off this "religious" organization. Now it's Colorado Kimmie's turn to take a look into what makes this pathway so attractive to so many. I went into the "belly of the beast"...
First, this "Church" takes up several blocks (of prime real estate...among the most expensive in the world) in downtown Los Angeles (along with many other impressive buildings throughout California), and oddly enough it's really super hard to get in! I drove the block multiple times before finally entering the parking lot through a one-way, going the wrong way. It was almost designed to weed out the weaker minded and less determined. So, would I call it "welcoming?" Umm hard no.
The church of Scientology was started by this dude, a ginger (so we know he has no soul...referencing the ginger episode on South Park):
L. Ron Hubbard
I went inside the intimidating architecture (the building used to be a hospital) with a completely open mind, hoping to learn why people still give this church a shot. We were given gloves, a temperature check, and had to sign in. I signed in as Kim Basinger residing on Mulholland Drive. Every Scientologist there had a perma-smile and walked around in matching uniforms that would replicate a train conductor or maybe one of those old time cinema ticket booth personnel. Think: Jim Carrey's Majestic movie. The garb consisted of grey slacks and a grey vest with a white button down shirt and a golden name tag.
The lobby was bright white and very sterile looking! To the right was the bookstore, and on the left was where the tour began...I present: The Public Information Center. Here one can find more than 500 films in 17 different languages. I will gladly admit that the videography was surprisingly GOOD. They hooked me in like a tractor beam. I totally expected them to be cheesy. They definitely have some talent in their organization. There were several sitting areas with televisions playing videos of L. Ron Hubbard and his many different ideologies + philosophies to include Dianetics, Scientology, Purification Program, and The Way to Happiness. The tour is "self-guided," and I put that in quotes because it really isn't. You'll be spied upon by a host who listens in on your conversations and peeks at everything you do. No pictures were allowed. Visitors were gifted the following:
- A DVD of L. Ron Hubbard
- An invitation to an upcoming seminar, "Stay Well: Get Uplifted, Inspired, and Empowered"
- A Welcome pamphlet with a map of the church
- A Walk in Ron's Footsteps coffee table book (which outlines all the many homes in different states he purchased)
So those were all my wares from the tour and the bookstore! A $20 book that was recommended for me after I purged that my problem in life was not being able to understand a-holes...and how my psychoanalysis will keep playing like an endless record in my head trying to figure it out. I just want to stop the record sometimes. Because check this out...sometimes, in life, you'll never find an answer, or at least a suitable one, for why people are pricks. So, tadaaaa, here's my new book that should solve all those problems: "Scientology: A New Slant on Life":
They asked me what my purpose was in walking in. And, I admittedly offered that I'm still trying to find my niche in life. I don't fix the box, and I don't hate it. I just want to find a life purpose that keeps me from trying to shimmy my fat butt back into the box that feels like a pair of Spanx over and over again. I was given a stress test (and they were super interested in how I knew about the stress test as they don't make this readily available for first time tour goers). The stress test was basically two brass looking cans that I held in each hand. Our host asked me a series of questions and as I answered the dial on the stress test would either remain stagnant or shoot up to a 10 on the stress scale. Anyone want to guess what my major stress in life is?
I have to throw in at this point how clean and sterile the bathrooms were. I give 5/5 stars on the cleanliness. At the end of the tour we were invited back the next day to go to the next level of learning. We told them we didn't have time to meet other people. Our host followed us out to the truck and she was super friendly and forthcoming about how Scientology had changed her life.
All in all, my assessment of why this church continues to flourish is that there are some truths mixed into the programming...as with most things in life. One has to be able to have discernment to know what to take with you and what to toss out. I haven't finished the book yet, but it's #1 on my pool reading list for sure. Curiosity killed the Kimmie.
Alright, that's about all I have to say about the Church of Scientology, aside from leaving you with a few facts, links and quotes that are pretty cool if this didn't satiate all your learning desires:
L. Ron Hubbard was the youngest ever Eagle Scout at the tender age of 13.
L. Ron Hubbard is the most published and translated author of all time.
"A Civilization without insanity, without criminals and without war, where the able can prosper and honest beings can have rights, and where Man is free to rise to greater heights, are the aims of Scientology." - L. Ron Hubbard
"I have lived no cloistered life and hold in contempt the wise man who has not lived and the scholar who will not share. I have seen life from the top and the bottom. I know how it looks both ways. And I know there is wisdom in that hope." -L. Ron Hubbard
Disclaimer: Hopefully the Church of Scientology doesn't try to ruin my life for taking a tour for amusement. I really was searching for answers along the way. But, sadly I was looking in the wrong place.
I'll leave you with this! I just found this article and it's totally crumbled everything I learned to be true on this tour:
https://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/Library/Shelf/wakefield/christians.html
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