Hello, Pals...
Happy Monday! (although there is a lag with Blogger and you probably won't get this until Tuesday if you subscribe to my blog)
Gonna go ahead and hit you with some trivia right out of the gate: Do you know what blog stands for?
ANSWER: It's a truncation of "web" + "log"...so, thanks for reading my logs, yo!
As an English Major I thrive on irony + parody + allegory. OMG do I ADORE a good allegory. A few of my favorites are:
Animal Farm, George Orwell (probably my top one + probably gonna read this again soon…)
Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk (I particularly love this one as a fellow maker of soaps...also this writer has a terrific set of short stories - great for pool time/the beach)
Lord of the Flies, William Golding
The Wizard of Oz, L Frank Baum (speaking of, I just saw this on Instagram today...it's all about perspective, no?)
Author Request: Throw me your favorite allegory (whether book, film, or art) in the comments below! I look forward to reading these!
Anyways, wow I got off topic quick. Back to irony...let's set the mood with this music video by Alanis Morissette:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jne9t8sHpUc
Sharing a few quick moments of irony so thick, you gotta sharpen your knife...
1) You know how your mind can just randomly think of a moment in your childhood and (in the age of information) you can immediately start Googling to try and find that particular person in that memory? Well, I found my elementary school bully. His name is such a bully name, too. I won’t post it here. But it’s kinda like Nelson Mandela Muntz from the Simpsons. It just sounds mean. I remember dreading going to school because he would always throw out insults in front of all my peers. “You’re a red-headed step child," "hey Bucky beaver," “your freckles are so gross," and "you're so ugly," among other disparaging comments. He would make fun of my lunch contents that my mom had packed. I couldn't even eat a freaking sandwich in peace.
I think back on all the people who told me he had a crush on me. No, he was just a dick! He even looks evil. One day in 5th grade Science class: I was sitting down at my desk as BB (his initials) pulled my wooden desk out from under me. How I am not permanently paralyzed from cracking my skull base on the desk as I fell to the ground, I do not know. That should have broken my neck. As I laid there crying in pain, Mr. Stone yelled at BB to go stand in the corner.
Anyways, guess what I found??? Thanks to the sorcery + magic of the "intronet" I have procured mug shots of My childhood bully. Turns out he became a career criminal when he grew up. And, the irony gets even better...he has three daughters. Wow, the universe really knows how to deal it out, doesn't it?
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| Irony: (noun) |
2) For anyone who reads my blog who was also a Facebook friend, you're probably wondering what the heck happened to me. No, I didn't block you or deactivate my account. Facebook sent me an email last month notifying me that they were permanently disabling my account. The reason they gave? They alleged that I promoted suicide in a post from March of this year. They wouldn't show me the post nor allow any sort of appeals process. They encouraged me to seek professional help after I reaf through their community standards on suicide. So, just like that I lost my Facebook page and photos/videos I had accumulated since 2009.
The irony? The same week I got the email from Facebook, I was hiking my second 14'er for…(wait for it)…suicide awareness. You cannot make this stuff up.
The additional "icing on the cake" irony? Not only is Facebook not making money clicks from my usage + the people who read my posts daily, but I've become way more productive without my Facebook page. So, intended as punishment, the ban has improved my life. I really owe Mark Z. a big fat smile + the bird. I'm a lady like that.
I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes as a writer:
You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.
- Anne Lamott
Isn't it ironic?
Kimmie
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