My Mid-Life Catharsis...

 Happy Cinco De Mayo!

Today is my forty fourth birthday!  So, in honor of my mid-life, I wanted to drop a post to commemorate this day in history when a legend was born.  Or, as George Thorogood sang, "When I was born, the head nurse spoke up, said leave this one alone, I could tell right away, she could tell right awy I was bad to the bone.  Bbbbbad, bad to the bone."  

Cheers!!!  (Photo cred: my boyfriend)

Flag is from Harbor Freight $4.99 and it’s got the sewn stars!  

Recently I went on "a glamping trip" (that's a portmanteau for glamorous camping) with my boyfriend, and I woke up Sunday morning with the word "Catharsis" randomly in my head.  I KNEW I had read that word plenty of times in college, especially in literature classes.  But, having no coffee in me, I asked, "hey, what does catharsis mean?"  My boyfriend: "ahhh I'm sleeping here."  Silence.  Him: "It means a shedding of your old self into your new self!"  Me: "YESSS!  A new awakening!"

I keep shedding my old self throughout life, and the load keeps getting lighter.  It's like a death of the old Kimmie, and a birth of the new Kimmie.  As, I keep on my journey, these awakenings become really beautiful.  And, I'm so grateful for the experience and the opportunity to live.  Life is a real gift.  Nobody said it would be fair, but it's worth it.  I guess people didn't live as long and didn't have our quality of life, and perhaps that's where "midlife crisis" came from.  However, these are some thoughts I would like to share with you on my birthday, some recent catharsis moments.  In a funny shift of culture, here is my gift to you, in no particular order:

1. Everything I have ever lost has set me free.  The things you own end up owning you (Fight Club)...

2. Honestly, I don't think I've ever been that great at "small talk," but as I get older, I can say, it's getting harder and harder.  If you don't like depths, a conversation with me can make you drown.  I'm talking "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea."  (Jules Vern wrote a book about Long's Peak, by the way- one of the hardest fourteeners in Colorado)

3. Damn it feels good to be a gangster.  You can stab me in the back and strip me of everything I have and I will go get every bit of it right back.  Some people will pat you on the back to find out where to place the dagger later.  It's part of life.  Theme song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lak-kYMOBHk You're not a real hustler if you can't lose it and get it all back.

4.  I love glamping in my boyfriend's teardrop, because it allows me to experience what off-grid tiny home living would be like, and I love it!  And, I love him.  You know you're with the right man when he brings out the absolutely best in you, inspires you to new heights, and wants to read all the chapters of you.  He gives me sweet compliments reassuring me all the time (which I'm used to having to do for myself so it feels so nice), but recently while we were camping, he called me "fearless" and I love that so hard.  I am, afterall, a Scottish Highland Warrior descendant.  Think Brave Heart.  Anyways, if he's reading this, I want him to know how grateful I am for his partnership in this crazy life and for being my accomplish as we navigate a spiraling world.  A brave new world, baby! (Huxley)

5.  I'm working more and more on living in the now and the moment and I've gotta say, it feels so good.  Also, althought it's a process, I'm really more aware of my "pain-body" these days.  Read to the "Power of Now"...it's so life changing.  And, it was the first book my boyfriend loaned me! (Eckart Tolle)

6. Shit, this blog is already longer than I intended and I wonder if people are still reading.  Will I always be long-winded with my thoughts?  Perhaps less is better, but I'm under a deadline to take a shower and jump into an important legal project that could affect a lot of Coloradans.  Bottom line, the world needs more thinkers and long winded souls.  My opinion.

7. I keep choosing peace over people and so far I have zero regrets!  My favorite new quote is: "Your free trial to this subscription is over, bitch!" (gangsta)

8. Energy transfer is so real!  Energy is like currency.  Not everyone deserves access to your energy because a lot of people are like a gigantic straw, or dare I say parasitic.  

9.  Freedom stretches only as far as the limits of our consciousness (thank you Carl Jung).

10.As Miles Davis said, "Man, sometimes it takes you a long time to sound like yourself."  It takes a while to deprogram what society has programed into you and wants you to be.  If you can't see that everyone is programmed in life, then you've been perfectly programmed.

11.  There really is no Shangri-La.  There is no perfect place or utopia.  So, you gotta make the best of every situation.  It's called building emotional callousing to cope with life!

12.  If you don't become the ocean, you'll become seasick everyday.  - Leonard Cohen.  

13. "So avoid using the word 'very' because it's lazy.  A man is not very tired, he is exhausted.  Don't use very sad, use morose.  Language was invested for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do.  It also won't do in your essays." (Dead Poets Society)

14. If we are brave enough to feel it, we can heal it.  So, you gotta slow down for this.  Being productive isn't always being busy, busy, busy.  You'll understand this once you take time to smell the flowers.   

15. This song has some really great gems of wisdom and continues to be one of my faves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DaQuwC7NlY

Okay, truth is, I could keep going all day on this...

So have a wonderful weekend, and don't drink and drive!

Love, 

Kimmie of the Colorado