Dealing with Difficult People

Dealing with Difficult People - 

They're everywhere!  You simply can't avoid them.  Don't try to change them, speaking from experience.  It'll be a huge waste of your time. 

Instead practice self-awareness and emotional intelligence daily to help you deal with difficult people.  There are mainly three things that affect your feelings about others:

• Temperament
• Personality
• Style

For me, it's mostly personality types that affect my feelings towards others, particularly difficult people.  So that’s what this article will mainly address.

There are mainly four personality types of Difficult People:

Dominant/Controlling Types - Act bold and assertive and can be bullies, often.

Analytical/Obsessive Types - Act very methodical and logical.  Are very detail oriented and often times "perfectionists"

Expressive/Impulsive Types - Act enthusiastic, optimistic, and social.  Can make very rash decisions without thinking things through or considering how their actions affect others.

Skeptical/Negative Types - Act like victims and seem to present a problem for every solution.  Complain and wine about everything and often times pull people down.

Dealing with difficult people takes practice, just like an other skill set!

1) Work on your own Perspective:

First acknowledge and accept that shitty people exist.  Also, realize that the way you are currently viewing or looking at a shitty person isn't the only way.  Stay calm and manage your emotions by maintaining an emotional distance and setting boundaries.  Examine your own temperament.  In other words, focus on solutions and how you can handle the difficult person better.

2) Manage Yourself and Know Your Triggers:

The opposite of managing yourself and your triggers are: INITMIDATION, ANNOYED, FRUSTRATED!

So, slowww down and take notes of self.  Ask yourself, "Why am I responding this way to this person?"  Examine those feelings without judgement.  Now, you can create a space to move from reactive to a more thoughtful reasonable response.  Unmanaged emotions can cause negative self-talk, can be defeating, and worse yet, cause stress.  Stress kills!

Self-awareness:

Emotional fitness includes self awareness of how you respond to difficult people.  Time your day for reflection and meditation.  Transform negative and toxic reactions into productive outcomes.  Name the emotion you are feeling without any reacting to it or judging yoruself.  Stay in the present and in control.  These skills can cleanse you to become more creative, positive, productive, and successful!

3) Work on your Meditative Approach -

Self management skills are everything!  Work on calming and meditative techniques.  It's easier to guide feelings towards a relaxed state than come down from an emotional breakdown.  How can you quickly recover when you realize you've allowed yourself to be emotionally hijacked?  Calm breathing is key.  Practice muscle relaxation.  And, work on visualitzation.

4) Self Management:

Practicing your thinking techniques will strengthen your emotional intelligence.  Mainly, you avoid acting on raw emotion.  First, change your self-talk.  Self talk happens 24/7, even when you don't even realize it.  How can you correct negative self talk?  First, become aware of the negative self talk, and then talk BACK to your negative self talk.

In order to practice self managmeent, work on goal intentions every single day.  Set goals while using intentions.

Use logic to reframe, recalibrate, and neutralize negative emotions.

Rememeber practice makes perfect.  These are skills well worth investing in.  I hope these tips helped!

Have a lovely weekend!

Kimmie