A culture fixated on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty, [it is] an obsession about female obedience. Dieting is the most potent political sedative in women's history...a quietly mad population is a tractable one. - Naomi Wolf
I received a letter recently from a reader who told me she wished all female teens could read my post. Honestly, when I write, I never really have a particular audience in mind. That's the first thing we learn in "Composition and Writing 101," KNOW your audience. Well, to that I say: SCREW YOUR CONVENTIONAL RULES (just like in my photography). So, although I do not practice a routine of writing to any particular audience and remain completely authentic to who I am, the encouragement brought me so much joy in learning that my words could reach and inspire younger women. And, to that reader, I say thank you so much for that. My heart nearly exploded.
Now, in response to the aforementioned email, this blog post IS indeed dedicated and written to my younger sisters. And, if you're reading this and not a young woman, that's completely okay. Chances are, you will come into contact with a younger woman in your lifetime who may be struggling as a very real person in a very fake world. We live in a world full of illusion. Everywhere we look we find some product or service that tells us: "This will make you more attractive to men, more desirable, better." What happened to uniqueness and authenticity? Why are there less and less women willing to stand alone in complete individuality? As a redhead and growing up in a culture of very few other redheads, I knew what it was like to be the freak, the "redheaded step child"...and I'm thankful for that. But, now?? Wow, I went to a public park in SC recently and there were too many little redheaded kids to count. I think the recessive gene has made its way to dominance!
AVOIDING FALSE PROFITS (they're everywhere and in the least expected of places):
I've never shared this story on a public forum. When I was in high school, I enjoyed the Communications arena. I was co-editor of the yearbook and I did the morning announcements (which meant I had to arrive at school much earlier than the average bear AND stay after school for filming and editing). My teacher in "drama" class (who also oversaw the morning announcements) told me one day, after learning that I wanted to be in broadcast journalism: "You'll never make it as a redhead." He died of a massive heart attack in the general office area of that same high school years after I graduated. But, to Mr. D I'd like to say (and, my intent here is not to disrespect the dead...rather, what I wish I had said at the time): "You have so much more influence as an adult and as a teacher than you'll ever realize. Try talking "the impossible" with your students as opposed to their limitations."
Anyways, I don't have cable and haven't for several years (because I have better things to do with my life these days), but quite literally redheads are everywhere on television. The silver lining: I went on to be an English Major (partly because the Communications College at my University couldn't get their shit together and provide the necessary classes for freshmen.) My point: don't ever let a man tell you that you can't do something. In fact, do it TWICE and then email the pictures. Additionally, have you noticed in this day in age and in the "Cancel Culture" grown red-heads are the only ones not offended by something? Lastly on this topic, scientifically, redheads have more pain receptors and fewer hairs on our head than the average. I argue: we learned to handle pain much better. But, I still cringe at the sight of a needle. I didn't share this, but a few weeks ago, I was down in my back (from not taking proper care of myself). It got to the point where I couldn't take care of myself or even bend down. I had to go to a clinic and get a $160 shot in my buttocks. And, when I saw that needle come out, I asked to remove my mask so I could do deep yoga breaths.
Next, as you age, you'll thank me for this. I never worshiped the sun or tanning beds. And, for protecting my face and neck (the most delicate skin on your body), I've managed to look years younger than women my age. Sun screen and high SPF is your friend, sister. And, skin cancer is the #1 contracted cancer of your largest organ in the world. No one is immune from it. We lost Bob Marley to skin cancer.
All through high school and my youth (and growing up in the South) I was ridiculed for the color of my skin. Sounds familiar right? Only we mostly hear about the narrative of white people ridiculing darker skin. Well, I'm here to tell you that my entire life I've received criticism for being too white. Specifically, in the health and fitness arena and if you've ever been a member of a gym, everyone tans. Look, if you have naturally olive skin, rock it! But, if your ancestors grew up under centuries of cloudy skies, you can be just as beautiful rocking your porcelain skin. Some pale skin beauties that inspire beautiful pale and healthy skin.
BEAUTY REGIMEN: These are suggestions for feminine beauty. By all means, preventing aging and aging as gracefully as possible are not everyone's cup of tea. However, I'm sharing these as self-love tips and daily self-care to start at an early age. You have your body and skin for a lifetime, and taking care of it is the most beautiful form of self love. Three things I always preach in body health adn maintenance: (1) flexibility to prevent injuries, (2) strength, specifically core strength and lower back bone density for women (dead lifts) to prevent injuries, and (3) balance to prevent injuries.
FIRST RULE OF SELF-CARE CLUB: Be a minimalist with your make-up bag and a queen with your skin care regime. Seriously, I cannot tell you how many YouTube make-up tutorial videos I've sat through (which are oddly calming and therapeutic), watching layer after layer applied to an already beautiful woman. For years I covered my freckles and hid my natural beauty. Let that skin glow show! Make-up should be an enhancement for the features you want to showcase, not a mask. You see your face every day, so you're probably completely unaware of the features others see and how beautiful you really are.
Again...self-care, ladies. Fill your cups. When you practice it, it shows. Here are a few of my tips:
1) Water. Hydro-therapy. Simple. Alcohol dries out your skin like nobody's business. Am I saying don't drink? No, absolutely not. I enjoy a nice glass of a wine and some campfire goodness just as much as the other. But, moderation is key. Shoot for drinking a gallon of water a day. Stay peeing, my friend.
2) Post-shower moisturize. After towing off, whether it's an oil or a lotion, treat your entire body to moisturizing therapy. Hot showers will deplete you of your natural moisture. I use Cereve, religiously. To me, this is the best drug store moisturizer on the market, and I've used plenty.
3) STAY ACTIVE: Always keep and stay active. Exercise is the key to youthful energies! Sweat, sweat sweat away those impurities. You don't have to have a gym membership. A yoga mat will suffice. (1) Squats, lunges for legs (weights optional), (2) Cardio: you can run in place or jumping jack, mountain climbers, squat jumps, high-knees, (3) arms and shoulders (and most importantly, grip strength), (4) ABS (your core is where you derive all your strength...keep it strong)...
4) Wear sunnies (sunglasses) and hats, always. Protect your face, but especially your eyes. This is the most delicate skin of all. Squinting will age your face quickly. A great eye cream is key (said my aesthetician from SC)
(5) Get out in Nature: to all my hiking and climbing friends, ya'll looking good.
(6) Keep the curiosity of a child. Always.
(7) Collagen, Vit D, and Vit C supplements. I use the powder in my smoothies. As we age we naturally stop producing collagen. That's why those pillow indents take a little bit longer to dissipate as we age. Vitamins can be found in yummy sprays after brushing your teeth, if you're opposed to swallowing a bunch of vitamins like me.
(8) Sleep. This is when your skin regenerates and heals. Keep a clean face while you sleep. Clean pillowcases are key. Some women swear by silk pillowcases. There are so many books about the benefits both outwardly and inwardly (mental health-wise) of good sleep. A great mattress is so key.
(9) Steam, exfoliating, and pore care: Hot baths, hot tubs, hot springs, etc. are good for the soul. The hotter, the better in my book. You naturally stop exfoliating skin layers in your mid to late 30's. Salt and sugar scrubs are so key to a healthy glow.
(10) Stay away from assholes. Protect your energy like it's your bank account. Keep your circle small and know when you've been disrespected. Learn to walk away. Read: "The Prince" and "The Celestine Prophecy." "The Prince" is a hard one to get through, but you can learn a lot about how to protect your energy.
(11) SMILE: Happiness equals beautiful. Confidence radiates 100% attractiveness
(12) Derma-rollers. I swear by these. Anytime I'm using a cream or skin care product to my face, I will derma roll my entire face to make sure the product is actually going to sink in and work. I bought mine from my aesthetician, but I've seen these sold in a lot of places.
(13) DIET: Not sure why I added this so far down the list. NOTE: these are in no particular order of importance. I'm not talking about dieting here. Simply put: You are what you eat. And, your skin will show it. So, if you eat processed and refined sugar, you're going to look like you do. If you eat clean, you'll look like you eat clean. It's as simple as that. Fruits and veggies are key to youthfulness.
(14) Laughter: If you're not laughing multiple times a day, make some changes to that, sister.
(15) Practice love and avoid fear. Love and fear can never co-exist. Your mind can be your worst enemy or the Universe of: passion, appreciation/gratitude, proclivity, growth, authenticity...always find passion in the things that make your soul burn.
(16) Never stop reading and learning. A great vocabulary and an open mind makes you so beautiful. Just being able to engage in an intellectual conversation with the spirit of wishing to learn and expand keeps the soul young. My opinion.
(17) Travel. Experience and embrace the beauty around you. Make memories.
(18) Find inspiration in females you relate to, not just the ones society tells you to adore. I find zero inspiration in the Kardashians. Hey, whatever floats your boat. However, there is a feisty Scottish curvy female (a blogger), who is actually a decade or more younger than me who I draw feminine energy and inspo from. The way she dresses to fit her curves (high waisted sailor pants, bold patterns, and cropped blouses), the way she embraces her butt and Marilyn curves and basically gives the finger to the "runway" culture of beauty is so inspiring to me.
(19) Make music and learn self expression. Not everyone was blessed with this spiritual gift. But, dance and sing in the shower anyways. Never bottle up emotion. If you're hiding who you are to keep people around, you never really had them "around" to begin with.
(20) Don't ever take yourself or life too seriously. God is the greatest comedian there is!
(21) Scars and imperfections are beautiful! Showcase them. We all have them. Your natural lines, features, and "imperfections" are an expression of your beauty and personality.
(22) Stop smoking now. It's not even worth it. Cigarettes will age you so fast and limit your life so much.
(23) Learn to create your own wealth, your own happiness, and your own future before finding a partner. Sick people attract sick people (depressed, lost, anxiety-ridden, co-dependent, controlling). Healthy people attract healthy people.
If you've now read this and you insert fats into your lips or Botox into your face or insert fillers, that's 100% you and whatever makes you feel beautiful is perfectly applauded. However, my advice shared here in this forum is for those wishing to embrace aging without the cosmetic industry's help.
Start practicing self-love now. You'll thank yourself in the following decade to come. And, in those ten years, share the wealth with your younger sisters. May the circle be unbroken.
Thanks for reading and I hope you have a lovely week. Light and healing to you, my friend!
Kimmie
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