Un-Arrested Development

Hellooooo, and happy Monday!

I love when amazing growth stages come in life!  It used to be a scary moment for me, usually met with anxiety, resistance, and confusion.  Growth almost always come after a mental breakdown (with mascara rolling down your cheek) or some overwhelming anxiety or depression that follows a trauma event.  Hey, wait a minute...so being broken can actually fix you better than you were before???  (rhetorical question)

Speaking of depression, I read this the other day and wow, I felt it so hard (paraphrasing): "Sometimes depression teaches us that we are sick and tired of pretending in the role we are currently cast for."  When we are ready and receptive to it, we step out of the old character and the universe sends these awe-inspiring revelations...or we meet someone who introduces us to an author or a poet or a philosopher who either expands or destroys our current understanding?  So now, instead of being scared or anxious, I'm learning to "ride the wave" of growth.  I'm excited to expand and to be humbled!

A few years ago, I was going through a healing/growing stage when someone introduced me to Brene Brown, self proclaimed "researcher/storyteller/Texan".  She researches some juicy stuff: "vulnerability, empathy and authenticity."  I first listened to her TedTalk and I immediately connected so well to her, because I am an HSP, a "Highly Sensitive Person," also called an "Empath."  If you've never heard of this character trait, Google it.  Learn about us, because we are out there and we are so awesome!  I didn't always believe that about myself.  In fact, for most of my life I was made to feel shame or called "too sensitive." (mostly for setting boundaries and protecting my energy)  Yes, I am sensitive...I'm sensitive in that I can feel your energy, despite what you may do or what may come out of your mouth.  I can read and feel how you feel and what you're projecting in terms of energy.  It's sorta like being a "human lie detector," both a strength and a curse at times, if I'm being honest.  

For a long time I allowed others to criticize my gifts and strengths as a weakness.  Here's the lovely part: the more I grow and expand my understanding, I realize the beauty of who I am.  I love who am.  I have outstanding abilities to connect and empathize with anyone (and I do mean anyone), a strength and a super power to learn quickly about people.  Additionally, growing and learning more about myself has allowed me to grow into my most authentic self and be totally one hundred percent unapologetic for it. 

I want to leave you with this: In one of Brene Brown's YouTube videos, she hits it out of the park with one of the greatest analogies about a gladiator in the arena (okay, as an English major, I love a good analogy...like I will stand up and applaud you).  So, I imagined myself to be this fighter in the arena.  And, she goes on to explain that there are people either cheering or throwing insults from the cheap seats.  And, the cheap seats are every seat that is NOT inside the arena.  And, that really stuck with me: (paraphrasing) "Don't let people criticize you from the cheap seats."  That makes you so brave, doesn't it?  Brave enough to try new things and venture outside of your horizons?  And, if someone doesn't like it, screw em'!"  They're in the cheap seats.  Really, the only opinion that should matter is: Your own and the openings of those are also in the arena fighting.  

I read somewhere else (again, reinforcing Brene Brown's outstanding analogy), and again paraphrasing, that "people on the sidelines who are not doing what you're doing are the always the ones criticizing you."  In other words, the champions or experts or those who are succeeding are not the ones looking down and criticizing you while you're trying.  It's the ones below you who are not even trying who are criticizing you.  Think about it!  It's true!  Why should these people matter!  We should never accept criticism or insults from someone we would never go to for advice.  Lastly, always surround yourself with other gladiators and fighters in the arena.  After all, courage is being brave enough to be absolutely terrible at something new and smiling the entire time (while high-fiving the other fighters).

Whoa, Brene's so good.  I hope you get a chance to look her up and maybe you will connect on a personal level, too.  While practicing your self-love today, you could even give her a listen on your phone with some ear buds.  I recommend starting with her Ted Talk, and then go wild with it.  She's got so many interesting videos.  Happy Monday, and have a wonderful week, friends.  Peace and love.  Protect your beautiful energy.

Kimmie