This post is dedicated to my friend, Paulina. Thank you for the inspiration! Paula + I were discussing how we might just be a wee bit sick and tired of bullies…and how it may be way past the time to reclaim our power over them.
You ever call someone out on their bullshit + set a boundary and suddenly they make you out to be the bad person with "bad vibes"? This is actually quite common behavior as more than 2/3 of the population demonstrate narcissistic tendencies + traits (which they usually learn from a parent or guardian who bullied them). Oh, by the way, this all usually comes after the gaslighting and the projections and everything else they randomly, and for no good reason, targeted you for.
Anyways, now you're the bad guy...and, why? Because you set a boundary? You said, (in a nutshell), "I do not approve of this behavior, and I do not want this to happen again." And, please know that bullying can be very passive aggressive in nature. So, sometimes, it's hard to even know it's happening. And, social media...(drumroll please), gives a nice little platform for these bullies, so you can relive high school over and over again.
Last year I posted a sentiment on Facebook that basically said (paraphrasing)..."Hurt people hurt people. Please stop going out and dating when you're hurting, because it just hurts others who are out there genuinely opening their hearts to love." And, this girl from my high school starts publicly berating me on my social media page, calling me "judgmental" and that I obviously don't know what I'm talking about (suggesting, or at least I interpreted it as, my life experience doesn't grant me an opinion on the matter.)
I defended my stance, because the psychology is very true: "Hurt people do hurt people." And, later she apologized telling me that she had projected stuff onto me that I was not responsible for. For example, she had been in three very abusive marriages and, apparently something about me or something she invented between the lines of my post had triggered her into just "going off" on me for no good reason. And, that's when I first learned, "Look honey…your opinion and what you’re battling inside is not my reality" no matter how much you sling that shit at me.
Fast forward to a year later and I posted a comment regarding eating disorders, after I had scrolled through Instagram and it felt like an "After School Special" on anorexia and bulimia. It's interesting to me that this new term "skinny shaming" is way to get people look away from the fact that little girls are literally doing irreparable harm to their bodies with malnourishment. Yet, if the same young girl was engaged in "cutting," you wouldn't say, oh, you're "Cut shaming her!" No, you would try to intervene and help before it was too late.
So, this SAME girl came at me again calling me "judgmental" and "jealous of attractive people" and a "narcissist." I would post the entirety of this public mudslinging had she not deleted it all...every bit of it. Not because I told her to. Then after bullying me publicly up to and including publicly sharing things I had told her in confidence (while trying to help her last year), she privately started apologizing to me. I asked her not to ever do that again and that it had become a pattern and not just some random mistake. Of course I was met with a litany of excuses:
1) "Narcissist" was an autocorrect on her phone.
2) she meant other people were narcissists and not me
3) then, I shit you not, she blamed it on her ADHD
4) then she engaged in gaslighting trying to make me ignore the reality of the fact she had engaged in this behavior before - publicly + on my social media page. And trying to convince me that, now that the comments were deleted, she never said them. I swear, nothing pisses me off more than trying to convince me I’m crazy because you can’t own up to or take responsibility for your bad behavior.
5) then she made me out to be the bad person with “bad vibes”…
Dicktim: (noun) a person who acts like a dick and then tries to play the victim.
. Isn't it funny how I gave up two lunch breaks to talk about + attempt to help solve her problems and this is how I was repaid? By being publicly bullied on my own social media page??
I also love it when, after the boundary is set, people like her are like, "she doesn't practice what she preaches." So let's dissect this comment a little bit. How do you interpret this one? What this means is "I saw you clearly as an easy target who doesn't stick up for herself and will 'turn the other cheek' because Christians and or spiritual people don't stick up for themselves."
SURPRISE! The secret is now out! I stick up for myself. You see, the psychology of it all is that people will bully or "bring the fight" to those who they think they can win. Sorta like ANTIFA stayed out of certain Southern towns where they knew they'd get their asses kicked...yet they terrorized uber liberal cities who had leadership who allowed it. Anyways, I love it when I "shock the socks off" people by practicing a thing called self-love - which VERY MUCH includes defending yourself and standing up to bullying behavior.
A narcissist doesn’t know self-love They become empty vessels walking around trying to suck the energy out of every around them as a way to feel fulfilled. The anti-narc knows to set boundaries and or avoid these energy sucking vampires.
2021 is the year we take back this Country from the bullying narcissistic assholes (in Hollywood, at work, in Washington, at your kid’s school, in your neighborhood) who have slithered their way to the top (or simply want to target you because they think they can). They use bullying as a way to silence you, to socially alienate you, and to make you feel like your opinion, your life, your experiences don't matter. Well, we've had ENOUGH! Practice the self-love they robbed you of.
End Bullying 2021!!!
Kimmie
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